Mayday is internationally known as a distress/emergency signal. It ‘s derived from the French phrase venez m’aider which means ‘come help me’. May Day is celebrated around the world as the 1st day of spring & new beginnings. Perhaps that’s why I choose this day as my deadline or to be more accurate- my lifeline.
I’ve been untangling my life for the past 5 years & until today. Life was cattywampus & straggly. No matter what progress I made in the detangling process- the organization I once had a decent handle on continued to dangle just out of my reach.
I had painstakingly struggled to come to terms with the limitations of a single working mother but eventually learned to shrug my shoulders as I rummaged through the piles of what-nots to find what-evers. Then it happened. A subtle moment in time when I made a quiet determined decision that I was no longer accepting this as the disheveled fate of single motherdom.
Yes- It was to be the 1st of May to celebrate Spring just in time for my birthday, May 6th. I wanted to gift myself with a fresh start…a new canvas…a clear runway. Mayday, Mayday, Mayday…I cried! Yes…I asked for help for my list at 1st seemed impossible for any person in their right mind to tackle. Overwhelmed? Absolutely!! It felt like an impossible task and yet for some reason- this time nothing was going to stand in my way. As each task was crossed off the list there appeared 3 more to take its place and instead of my aggravating friend named Frustration joining me…I was accompanied by new friend, Momentum.
The next thing I knew my confidence was growing in direct proportion to the momentum which began to carry each new day with anticipation of the simple yet profound goals that would be reached today. At first, I felt the tremendous pushback that seemed to oppose my every move & willed myself to stay with it-believing that it must give way to greater ease. In time the oppositional forces melted into a momentum that turned the once palatable burdens into strength, determination & joy. Yes…joy!! I began to feel more coherence, competence & credibility than ever.
The more I organized, the more began to fall into place. The tremendous effort to begin this seemingly impossible feat began to melt in intensity & not only did my resistance to it begin to soften but I began having fun with it. Catching myself singing, laughing, being more playful & having more energy. The more I put things into place…the more they fell into place. It was as if the whole universe was working together to create this new structure for my creative life to expand from. I wanted to cross it accomplished &